Frequently Asked Questions
After years of experience in family law, we have carefully curated a list of frequently asked question and answers to help guide you through the mediation process.
Isn't it easier just to let a judge decide?
If you go to court, you will either need to hire an attorney, which can be expensive, or learn some of the rules of court, which can be complicated and difficult. Most people find the process stressful, difficult, and inconvenient. In addition, the judge will only have time to hear a small fraction of all of the information you may want to present; it is difficult to summarize even a 2-year marriage within a few hours of court time. In mediation, you and the other person can make agreements and arrive at solutions that are tailored to your situation, including agreeing to outcomes that a Court might not have the power to do. For example, a Court can only order a timesharing/visitation schedule based upon today and cannot take into consideration what may happen in the future. But in mediation, an agreement can be reached which, for example, has one timesharing/visitation schedule for now and then has a new timesharing/visitation schedule which will start at some future point in time. This can address special issues related to children and their needs as they grow from infants, to elementary school, to middle school, to high school.
What if I don't know what I want?
The process of mediation is a process of learning what will work for both people and their unique family. We will provide you with information to help prepare you for mediation so you can prepare yourself. In addition, you can make temporary agreements on issues so you can “try something out” before you are “stuck” with it permanently. We want your mediation to be
effective and your outcome to be one that both you and the other party can live with and follow so you have certainty and stability to be able to move forward in your life.
What happens if we don't agree on everything?
It is possible to reach an agreement on some issues and not others. For example, many people arrive at a timesharing/visitation schedule with their children quickly, and having an agreement allows them to create more predictability for their children as other issues are addressed. Anything to which you both agree will be reduced to writing and signed by both parties. It is binding upon the parties after signature just like any other contract, and allows you to then focus on other issues which may be more difficult to resolve. Even if you eventually need a judge to resolve an issue for you, having already agreed on other issues will streamline the process and make it faster and, if you choose to hire an attorney, less expensive
Can the mediator give me legal advice?
A mediator is a neutral facilitator and cannot give either party legal advice. The mediator's role is to explore possibilities of settlement and allow the parties to make their own decisions. A mediator can ask questions about the issues the parties need to resolve, and typically, those questions are based upon the knowledge of the mediator about the law and the issues the law requires the parties to address and resolve. For example, the law requires a timesharing/visitation schedule for minor children, so if you have minor children, a mediator will ask you if you want to discuss timesharing/visitation schedules. A mediator can also help brainstorm options and considerations, which will be based upon the mediator’s experience
What happens if we do agree on everything?
Assuming you reach an agreement on all issues, that agreement will be reduced to writing and signed by both parties. It is binding upon the parties after signature just like any other contract. That agreement can then be presented to the Court, leading to a quick resolution of your case and closure.
Can I bring someone with me?
Normally, only the parties attend their mediation, and other people (“third parties”) are not permitted to attend. However, if both parties consent, a third party may be present; however, this is unusual and can be counterproductive.
What if I know the other person will never agree to anything?
Miracles can happen in mediation, even when it seems hopeless heading into one. In addition, all family law cases are required to go to mediation, so why not go sooner rather than later?
Is Mediation Confidential?
Yes! One of the advantages to mediation is that the discussions and negotiations are confidential. Only the signed agreement, child support guidelines worksheet (if applicable), financial affidavits (if applicable) will be placed in the public court file. Otherwise, what happened behind closed doors, stays behind closed doors.
Do I need an attorney?
No, you do not need an attorney to schedule and attend a family law mediation. Even if one party has an attorney, you are still not required to have one
How long does mediation take?
Mediations are typically scheduled for at least a three (3) to four (4) hours to ensure there is adequate time to resolve issues and write an agreement. Additional time can be scheduled, even if it's not on the same day. Some cases resolve quickly, others required multiple mediations over time as people may need to gather additional information, try temporary solutions for a period of time, or just need time to get to closure.